Here's to the boy who added a little red to my life...

(photo credit: www.karenharrisonphotography.com)

"Red is my favorite color, " says Arman proudly. He loves to wear red clothes, play with red cars, ride his red bike, and paint everything and anything red. I dress in black, gray, and maybe, occasionally, a bit of blue (hey, I lived in Manhattan for more than 20 years!). Before Arman, I would never have owned a red car or worn a red dress. So here's a big thank you to the boy who added a little red to my otherwise gray life.

Sure, sometimes red is for anger: motherhood made me realize that I needed to deal with my bad temper (and I am still working on it).
Sometimes red is for STOP: I find myself saying it a lot more than I care to admit.
And, yes, sometimes red is the color my face turns when I blush with embarassment, like the time Arman yelled out, "stop touching my penis" as I was changing his diaper in a crowded rest-stop bathroom somewhere on the New Jersey Turnpike.

But mostly, red is for LOVE. Arman has brought lots of that to my life since that memorable day four years ago.

So here's to the boy who smiled broadly when Dr. Svetlana carried him into the playroom at the Shapagat Baby House in Karaganda, Kazakhstan on the morning of July 9, 2007.  And here's to me for realizing in an instant that "baby boy Arman, born December 1, 2006" wanted to be my son and for saying in a calm, firm voice: "этот" Russian for "this one."  Here's to us for choosing each other and falling in love...

Here's to the boy whose presence transformed my future and forever changed the way I view my past. I used to waste a lot of time considering how different my life would have been if I had gone to a different school, taken a different job, tried a little harder to make a certain romantic relationship work, moved to a different place... But after adopting Arman, I realized that if one thing in the prior 46 years had been the slightest bit different, then perhaps I wouldn't have been standing in that baby house in Karaganda at 10 am on July 9th, 2007 waiting to meet four babies. If one little detail in my past had been altered, ever so slightly, then maybe Arman would have been the first child brought into the room that morning instead of the fourth. And maybe, just maybe,  I wouldn't have seen his beautiful smile in quite the same way. Maybe I would have missed out on one of the most profound moments of my life: the chance to be Arman's mama. I might have missed out on the chance for him to add a little bit of red to my otherwise gray life.


Hey, wait, wait,  hold on a second, did Arman bring red to my life or is it possible that I brought red to his? Looking at earlier blog posts, I recall that the first time I was photographed holding Arman (just minutes after we met), he seemed a little nervous and shy.

A few days later, after he spit up on his clothes, I snuck a Cornell t-shirt onto Arman - see how happy he looks in this photo? 

The first article of clothing that belonged to him was RED!!!!  (The caregivers in Room #3 washed that shirt and dressed Arman in it for almost all of my twice-daily visits after that.)  Soooo, was red already Arman's favorite color or did red become his favorite color when I dressed him in the Cornell shirt?  I guess we'll never really know... 


So here's to the boy who reminds me every single day that two of the most important questions we can ask are "why" and "why not?" and that it's okay to answer with "I don't know" especially when it is followed by "but let's find out together."


Here's to the boy who joyfully jumps in puddles, asks when he'll be allowed to ride a skateboard, wants the swing to go as high as possible, and insists he is not tired, even as he is falling asleep.


Here's to the boy who learned to sit up at 10 months old and taught himself to ride a two-wheeler at 4 1/2 years old.  (I think we can now safely conclude that Arman's gross motor skills are not only on target, but actually advanced for his age.)


Here's to the boy who builds, draws, imagines, and sees things in our world that are often beyond my comprehension.


Here's to the boy who puts up with my singing, loves to hear a good story, laughs more than he cries, and gets up every time he falls down.


Here's to the boy who has been more resilient in the first four years of his life than anyone should be expected to be in a lifetime.

So hip, hip, hooray (as Arman likes to say), here's to Arman, here's to love, here's to us celebrating July 9th, 2011 - the 4th anniversary of the day we met - and here's hoping we have at least 44 more anniversaries to celebrate together!

(photo credit: www.karenharrisonphotography.com)